Foam Blocks for Bath time—Good Clean Fun

A while back, there was an article here “Stacking Cups for the Imagination—A Great Toy Not Found in (Many) Stores”. Simplicity, better play value than many marketed toys, and low cost conspire to limit its shelf space. These are a great first toy.

Babies grow and pretty soon they are in the bathtub, looking for activities. Here, there is another simple toy, foam blocks which float, but also stick to the side of the tube or wall when wet. The blocks themselves are pretty simple. They are just EVA foam cut into different shapes about 2 or 3 inches. As with any blocks, you need a bunch of them to really have a good time.

The possibilities are endless. At the beginning, the kids take delight in just sticking them on the wall. Then the adults can build stick figures, houses, or anything with imagination. Pretty soon, the child is doing it also, and by the end of the toy cycle they are making elaborate structures of their own. (These blocks are sometimes advertised for use on dry land. They do not work out so well there, since there light weight causes the “buildings” to be very unstable, easily knocked over and frustrating to children just learning finer motor skills.)

These foam blocks are not available, at all stores, but are a more often found than the stacking blocks. What is remarkable is wide range in price. Most often, they seem to be sold at a price that averages $1.00/ block (say $20 for a box of only 20). A buck a block seems a little steep, especially in view of what they are. But looking around, some places have them for a price that averages 12 cents a block. A factor of almost 10 times cheaper! Perhaps there is a difference, but both float and stick to the wall!

If it makes bath time more enjoyable, it’s worth a try.

Finding and Hiring a Tutor—Interviewing for Value

Private tutoring is an expensive proposition for families. It’s important to select an individual who really brings value to the students. Their experience is fully dependent upon the person hired.

There is plenty of general advice about tutoring on the web. Sooner or later though, there is an interview and a decision to hire a particular person must be made. It’s important to have some ideas of value in tutoring before the selection process.

The points below can provide specific background to improve the chances of hiring an effective tutor.

1. Value Tutoring–Example.

A young woman was doing poorly in an introductory Physics course. She was clearly bright and motivated. She was having difficulty applying the mathematical equations of motion the travel path of a thrown baseball. It was clear, after a short discussion, that she had really understood the use of the mathematical equations, usually the most difficult step.

However, the young woman did not have a clear picture in her mind of a thrown ball traveling through the air. She had not used her own experience to understand the physical situation.Without this information, she could not use the mathematics properly. The instruction emphasized making diagrams of the physical situation to gain this understanding.Once made, it seemed simple and she was able to solve these problems quite readily.After a few sessions, the young woman was on her own doing well. Further, the technique of making the effort to understand the physical situation can be generalized to other subjects

2. Value Goals.

Consider these two objectives in view of the tutor’s approach to teaching.

(i) The goal of one-on-one teaching is to identify the obstacles and provide the tools to allow the student to work at his full potential independently as efficiently as possible.

(ii) Tutoring should be viewed by the student, parent and tutor as a focused short term activity.

3. Skill Levels.

Individuals have different skills. Here is one way to classify them by value.

(i) Minimum Requirements

Objective credentials in the field (formal education, test scores, training for special learning situations, experience

(ii) Value Requirements

Demonstrated perceptive abilities to precisely identify the obstacles to learning. The real value is to diagnose the problem.

The ability to teach specific methods to overcome these obstacles

(iii) High Value Requirements

The problem solving techniques are presented so that the student can gain confidence and expand their use to other subjects

4. Interview by listening for the tutors attitude.

During the interview with the prospective tutor, first confirm that the objective credentials are present. Then look for value:

Does the individual’s instruction method lead to the value goals listed above?

How has the tutor demonstrated the ability to diagnose obstacles?

It is more effective to listen to their conversation to find out if these types of value activities emerge in their own words. An effective way is to just to listen to the way they discuss their work. However, if these questions are asked directly, there will always be a positive answer.

5. Check the references against the high skills criteria.

References are only provided if they are generally positive.

Look beyond the overall results. Specifically ask about the references about the experience with the tutor in diagnosing specific issues. Ask about the length of the teaching and how the stopping point was determined.

 

In summary, tutoring selection decisions are often made quickly and without a criteria for evaluation of the tutor. Then the instruction activity begins, expenses mount, and performance is what it is. However, with just a little more attention at the beginning, the chances of have a good tutoring experience can be increased.

Stacking Cups for Imagination—A Great Baby Toy Not Found at (many) Stores

 

Last year, several of our friends had their first babies. Thinking back about the best toy when our children were born, a set of 10 stacking cups came to mind. What fun they were! So, stacking cups is what these families got. Now, a year later, the parents report that the stacking cups are the most used and enjoyed toy of all. Not bad for a toy that can be purchased for as little as $7.20.

There are countless activities. The imagination grows to invent new ones as the child’s abilities develop. No instructions needed. Another benefit is that the games hold the interest of the adults as well.

However, this toy has only moderate popularity. There may be several reasons for this. As possibilities: The cups do not look like much in the box; they don’t come with a technical buzz; there are no advertisements for a cheap, old toy; adults who had them as children do not remember that young age

Finally, you have to go out of your way to find them. They are not stocked by most of the major toy chains either in their stores or on-line. Some, but not all, boutique toy stores do carry them, and they are available over the web. (Caution: The sets containing only 4 cups do not have enough play possibilities.) It’s worth the effort to track this toy down.

Also, a great gift.

Not found in most stores.

When the baby moves on to the bath tube, check out Foam Bath Blocks–Good Clean Fun 

 

 

A related post for parent/baby activities: 3 Parent Activities to reduce frustration for sleeping problems and toilet training.

 

 

Child Sleeping Problems and Toilet Training—3 Parent Activities to Reduce Frustration

If you scratch the mind of a parent about concerns for their baby or toddler, odds are either sleeping habits or toilet training will come up. No question about it, there is a challenge here. Even though the vast majority of these adventures work out without major health issues, it is of little solace during the training. The concern takes a big bite of nervous energy. A few straightforward activities that can help to reduce frustration for the adults are highlighted below.

It’s obvious that there are many different methods to approach this training. As an example, on-line bookstores show 15 books devoted exclusively to sleeping problems and over 25 to toilet training. All but one of these books are rated 4-5 stars (****1/2) of a scale of 5) by the users. People are satisfied with the books. It’s interesting that, although each book claims to have the winning method, some are directly contradictory. For the methods, pay your money, take your choice. For serious problems of course, expert medical advice is available for those who need it.

Beyond the methods however, background activities that can make this period more enjoyable for the parents often get little emphasis. Three are outlined below:

Keep a realistic perspective on time and goals

A few hours awake in the middle of the night seem like forever. There is a distortion that sets in—a mentally predetermined time is set when sleep will come, or success on the potty. When that milestone passes, there is an increase in anxiety and then a new goal is set. Break the cycle of predetermined goals. (The goals are often determined by the “normal” development cycle, ignoring the fact that there is a natural wide range.) As long as there is no serious problem, events will unfold in their natural time. A day, a week, a month seems like a long time when waiting. Looking back it is an instant. Try for the middle perspective. In place of a goal, stay in the details of the moment of activity. Sometimes there are no options, so just relax, laugh at the absurdity of the situation and work through it

Make some records

There are several benefits. First, the record generally shows that the situation is not as bad as it seems. Second, if there turns out to be a real problem, this factual information for the health care provider to assess. Third, it’s reassuring to watch the changes. Years later, when the record is rediscovered stuck as a bookmark, it serves to jog the memory.

As an example for sleeping, use a sheet with the hours of the day in the rows and the days of the week in the columns. Have enough columns for at least 2 weeks (or longer) on a sheet. Keep track of the waking and sleeping time by shading in the time periods during which the child was asleep. Update the sheet after each period.

Develop a back-up plan in advance to deal with frustration

There is a time in all of these activities when the fatigue or frustration just appear overwhelming. It is just part of the deal, so prepare for it in advance when times are calm. A little planning here can avoid a crisis later. Several points are key in this planning: Determine the early warning signs that the fatigue or frustration are building to a critical point. Since the signs may not be recognized in the heat of the moment, look to identify them early. Then, identify people and resources that can be used. Discuss this plan with these people in advance. Finally, if the situation reaches a critical point, put it into action. Even if the plan is never needed, just knowing one there is a plan reduces frustration

Giving a child more responsibility–Intuitive Decisions

Introduction: There is a chronic pain resulting from making an erroneous decision that goes against one’s better judgment. It is one thing to take your best shot at a course of action and having it fail. That is just life. It is quite another if a failed course of action also goes against your better judgment. The decision continues to exert a price on the individual long after the physical situation has been resolved. There is never any guarantee that a decision can lead to an acceptable result, but using intuitive judgment and checking it when necessary can improve the chances.

Most decisions are relatively straightforward. An analysis of the facts reveals a direction for action. This type of rational analysis is sufficient for many decisions, particularly in business, where the consequences can be mitigated as the results unfold. However, there are some decisions that can never fit into this rational category. Sometimes, the problem is with the facts—they are insufficient, or cannot be known, or are so conflicting that no clear direction can be identified. At other times, the emotional or physical consequences are so great that the rational analysis alone cannot be trusted. An intuitive aspect is needed.

Two obvious situations when rational analysis may not be sufficient are business decisions that can affect the direction of the entire organization or, at home, actions that involve the well being of children.

In an earlier example, “Deciding to let a child travel alone”, the emphasis was on a general method to gauge whether the required skills, experience, and maturity were present to give this responsibility. If the baseline requirements are not met, there is no question that responsibility cannot be delegated. However, even if the skills are present, allowing that responsibility may not be the appropriate direction.

Actually, the real question in this example is when to let a child have responsibility (on mass transportation, at the mall, etc.). Sooner or later, these responsibilities will be given. In this case, the actual decision questions are: Is this the right time to allow this freedom? If not, what conditions have to change?

The decision to give a child such responsibility falls into the previously mentioned category of a case that rational analysis alone cannot be trusted and intuitive judgment can be used. Some people use it consciously and routinely; others hardly at all. Working with gut level intuitive judgment is a skill. It can be developed with practice and feedback. As the first step, immediately after having reviewed all of the available information, hold the information in the mind and take a deep breath or two. Then, note which decision direction is favored. There may very likely be no explanation for the result

The judgment itself may be right on target, or it may be off the mark, clouded with other issues such as emotions and personal experiences. The accuracy of the initial judgment doesn’t matter. It can be tested later. The important point is not to ignore the initial direction and act immeidately against your better judgment because of time or peer pressures.

A conflict between the facts and intuitive judgment does not indicate that the approach favored by the facts should be discarded, but that further examination is needed. Such a conflict does suggest that respected opinions should be sought. If possible, the opinion should come from an outside source not connected with the problem under consideration. Such an opinion provides a fresh perspective without emotional connections. After this outside opinion has been considered, the decision may very well overturn the intuitive direction and be to continue with the factual decision.

In the continuing example of giving responsibility to a child–if the decision is not to allow it now, the decision process also gives some insight into what has to change in order to ultimately allow the child the freedom to travel alone.

Better decisions result from an understanding based on rational analysis, intuitive perception, and an outside review. It may be the best that can be done, regardless of the outcome.

Children’s Bedtime Stories–Making up a good one every night

At some point, every young child gets tired of the same canned bedtime stories and says to the parent “Make up one for me.” For some parents, the mind goes blank. There is no story to be had, or a weak variation of a familiar one comes out.

There is no time at this point in life to study the fine points of storytelling. But still, the child can have a good story and it can be great fun to make them up. It is a lot easier a few points are kept in mind. The first plots will take a few days to get into, but after that, the stories have a life of their own, to the delight of both child and parent.

Outline Example—Wikulus the rabbit

 

There was a young rabbit named Wikulus who lived with his mother. Whenever Wikulus found a four leaf clover, he could make a wish to visit anywhere in the world and he would be immediately transported there for the afternoon. A subplot is the initial search for the four-leaf clover so that the main adventure can begin.

 

This type of opening leads to many possibilities for different stories. As examples:

 

Wikulus may visit Santa Claus on a seasonal basis and find that Santa is well behind in toy production. How to help.

 

He may visit the desert, find out about the conditions there, and not have sufficient supplies.

 

The young rabbit may go to Africa and be introduced to other animals with different skills, some friendly, others unfriendly.

 

These are starting points for the complication of the plot and later resolution.

 

By the end of the day, Wikulus is home, and of course, his mother does not believe his adventures really happened.

 

The Key Points

Characters

For the first few nights, try different characters. For younger children (2-4), different animals (who, of course can speak) are a good start. Each character should be given a distinctive name, often chosen together with the child. The first character may not catch on, but pretty soon, the child will make a connection and a favorite star will be born.

Another theme variation that is popular is to give normally inanimate objects, the ability to play tricks on people. For example, cars that take control and choose the destination, wall pint that changes color, tables that shake things off. The stories center on the comical reactions of the adults. What could be more delightful than seeing an adult being fooled by an inanimate object.

For older children, people have a more prominent role, particularly from olden times.

After one main character has been established, add at least two or three additional regular or rotating characters. These extra guys provide flexibility and range of interactions needed for a wide variety of plots. Since the same characters can be used for a number of stories, the child is familiar with them and you can put your energy into making an engaging story.

Magic

Nothing like it! Just a few elements of magic add a good twist. Not too much though. The magic property can be used to get into predicaments. The character has to resolve them by his own ingenuity. Even a child is not satisfied when the character is suddenly beamed out of trouble.

 

Plot—This is the most fun!

 

Once the story is begun, there is no stopping to “figure out the next part”. Make it up as you tell it out loud. It is a reality show for both the child and the parent. The real time aspect adds energy and interest for everyone.

As the first half of the story is being told, add layer upon layer to the difficulty that the main character encounters. This adds excitement. The real key for the storyteller is that the difficulty is added as fast as it comes to mind—there is no known way for the character to resolve it. At the end of this section of plot development, the storyteller should have no idea how the character is going to settle this one.

Now for the best part–As the plot moves toward resolution, the storyteller has his work cut out. As the story is told out loud, you must also figure out a way to get the character out of the predicament. This approach really energizes the storyteller and this energy is picked up by the child. If the child seeks assurance that it will end OK, be sure to give it so he can enjoy the excitement more fully. Then figure out how to make it end OK—no need to stop to figure it out, this is stream of consciousness telling.

Plot Conclusion

Each story has to be complete,, beginning, middle and end, in one telling. No cliff hangers like on television. The purpose is to entertain and then go to sleep, so that all of the energy of the story has to be dissipated.

Give it a try. Parents using these tips have been amazed and pleased at their own creativity!

 

 

 

Baby Sitters and an Emergency–Guiding the Response

Baby-sitting is about safety.

The usual references given for a new babysitter—dependability, attentiveness to the child—are a good start. But it is also important to consider responses to household emergencies and to take the opportunity to provide additional guidance if appropriate.

Unfortunately, the subject of emergencies is often dismissed with the comment that the important telephone numbers are on the refrigerator door. Dependability and attentiveness may be sufficient indicators of appropriate action under stressful conditions, but considering the consequences, it is worth a few minutes to check this out.

The first step, as unpleasant as it is, is to consider some of these events—a fire breaks out in the kitchen, a child slips and falls down the stairs, a stranger pounds on the door. Then, decide upon your recommended responses to the scenarios. This exercise really helps you to understand what a baby sitter may have to do.

The second step is to evaluate the current emergency skills of the baby sitter. This evaluation process is not a test, but a discussion that is simple to understand and is open ended. Probe a scenario in a conversational way. Gently tease out details if necessary. The specific details provide a better clue as to the level of understanding. Gauge the response in terms of your preferences above.

For example, to the question: “What would you do if there was a fire in the kitchen?” The response to “Call the Fire Department.” may not be satisfactory. A more appropriate response may be for the sitter to gather up the children, leave the house, and then call the fire department.

Conversations like these allow the sitter to demonstrate rather than describe their level of competence.

The third step is to gently compare your recommended behaviors with the sitter’s responses. If you do this for a couple of scenarios, you will have a better idea of the capabilities. It is at this time that some instructions can be given.

A few minutes spent with this exercise can go a long way. It is not necessary to consider more than a scenario or two. No one can predict what, if anything will happen. It is the process of working together to clarify competence and improve response skills that has the most value. These skills can transfer to better responses to other situations.

Then have a good night out.

 

Generalization: The three steps describe above are essentially the same as those for delegating responsibility. The delegation of responsibility was also discussed for a child in the post “Deciding to let a child travel alone”.

The major points are the same:

Understand the requirements of the assignment

Evaluate competence required to do these assignments

Formulate specific probes so that competence is demonstrated rather than described.

Compare the requirements to the competence. Delegate or provide additional guidance. Follow-up with additional training if necessary.

 

To send this article to the parents of a small child, copy and send the following link: http://workingwithinsight.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=23

 

Finding Things–like your flash drive

This drill has happened too many times. The family is lined up ready to leave for work and school, when the plaintive cry goes up “I can’t find the keys.” The whole operation shuts down. People scurry all over the place looking for them. The pressure of the delayed leaving builds and even when the keys are found, the residual tension takes a while to wear off. The equivalent situation at work is when the boss asks immediately for information and you can neither put your hand on the hard copy or the file. The worst, of course, is when you put your hand in your pocket to get your flash drive and it isn’t there.

The time for keeping track of things is past. It’s also too early for recrimination. The focus of the moment is to get your hands on the flash drive. Although we say it’s lost, it’s almost always misplaced. A big difference. The trick is to get it back in hand without aggravation.

The worst action is to search a location and overlook the item. If the item is overlooked once, it will be a while until you get back there because there are so many other places to look. Aggravation. This error happens frequently during the initial frantic moments of the search when stuff is just moved around. Even at the beginning, when you look in a location, search thoroughly so the chances of missing it are a minimum.

The next action, if the item does not turn up in the first two or three obvious places, is just to sit down for a minute or two. Take the time to recollect the time and conditions when you saw it. Don’t force for an answer and let the mind be intuitive and open. Something may come to mind such as a slight variation from your normal routine, leading to new ideas. Then get up and look in those places. Repeat as necessary.

 

Chasing the Ball into the Street

There is no feeling so helpless, as seeing from a distance, a child chasing a ball that is headed for the street. Will that child remember to stop? It’s an acute fear of anyone who has children, and the fear never goes away, even when one’s own children have long grown up. We prepare for the situation, hoping that it is never tested

In this preparation with the child, there is an important point that is often overlooked. People react faster to instructions that tell them what to do compared to those which direct them what not to do. The mental processes to execute the two types of instructions are not the same. People are more likely to be able to execute the positive instruction successfully.

So the instruction: “Stop at the curb” is more effective than the more often used “Do not run into the street.” Training should emphasize this direction.

Emphasizing the instructions about what should be done, rather than what should be avoided is a more effective strategy to get the desired result in many activities. It is worth the effort to give some thought to ensure that the instructions are phrased in the most appropriate manner.

One other point about the ball. The immediate safe response is the most important aspect, but the longer term considerations can also be addressed. A child may believe that if the ball is crushed in the street, he will be without it. Reduce the long term consequences of this perspective. Make it clear that if the ball does go in the street and is crushed by a car, the adults will put aside the important things they are doing and immediately go to the store to replace it. Then do it. If the time comes and the ball has to be replaced, it is a very satisfying trip. There are plenty of other opportunities, with much less at stake, to teach about the consequences of their actions.

 

To send this post to a parent with a small child, copy and send the link:

http://workingwithinsight.wordpress.com/2006/07/23/chasing-the-ball-into-the-street/

Deciding to let a child travel alone

No one is ever old enough to ride on the New York City alone for the first time. Visitors often feel this way. I was 25 when I came to the city for the first time and remember that first ride, who knew where the train would end up and let me off?

For kids growing up in New York, it is often different. They are ready to go off on the train. How do you decide whether they are ready. It has to happen sooner or later. This example is from the subways, but the decision process is similar for other situations where a child is on their own.

Decision time for the subways is often triggered by a change in schools. Since a child can select public middle schools (6^th grade) anywhere in his district, it may be more than a walking distance from home. Sure, there may an equivalent school just around the corner, but preferences are valid. So the decision is to let the child go to the school of their choice and take the subway or restrict the options.

The first reaction to a child on the subways is the physical danger. There is always the possibility of encountering an out of control person. It can happen. Actually it can happen anywhere—on the sidewalk, at the mall, another driver. The cold statistics show that it is relatively rare. Most children have been instructed about these possibilities. Both children and adults are on the lookout for it and can take evasive action. Actually, there is not much difference for the child alone in this case since there are so many other adults present. On a subway for a daytime school commute, this scenario may not be the most significant.

Far more common is that it the subway line goes out of service due to a mechanical break down, power failure, or some other random act of nature. Alternatively, a train or bus may be rerouted from a local to express and make different stops. In these scenarios, which are likely to happen sooner or later over the course of a year, the child may be relatively far from home, disrupted from the normal travel pattern and by himself. The question then is: Does our child have the presence of mind, information, and maturity to work through the situation?

 It is not enough to ask for an opinion or general question, but to formulate more specific examples and have the child demonstrate competence.

In the case of the subway or bus, a series of probing questions can be formulated based on adult experience: What happens if: the subway breaks down; you lose your metro card and have not money; the train is rerouted; which buses can match the route; who can you contact for information; your cellphone batteries are dead; you get lost. These questions define for the parent the level at which the child must be able to function.

 Next test the child’s maturity and knowledge against the specific questions. Look for answers that have enough specific detail to actually solve the problem. For example, it is not enough to say “Take another train” They must be able to specify the alternate routes, including transfers and destination stops. Of course, not every scenario can be tested. The real evaluation by the parent is to determine if the child has information, realistic assessment and ability to actually work through the problem. Then, its time for a field assessment. The next step is to let them set the routes for actual trips the family may take prior to the school year. No hints. If the wrong directions is selected, everyone goes along for the ride. These trips gives the sense of responsibility needed for their own confident travel.

 Then, they are off. Not quite finished though. The first few trips are likely uneventful. Some close questioning about the initial experiences to verify the information and maturity are really there both parent and child are confident when the inevitable new situation arises.

 The process can be applied to giving other responsibility in general. Not just children, but delegating responsibility to employees as well.

A follow-up post is:  Intuitive Decisions–Allowing a child more responsibility or can be located in the parenting category.

Summary of steps:

Understand the Skill Requirements

Explicitly review the project from a skill perspective.

Evaluate Competence within the Project

Formulate specific probes so that the responses demonstrate skills rather than describe them.

Determine the Overlap of Requirements and Competence

Use Experience and intuitive judgment tested against specific questions

 Delegate Responsibility

Focused oversight in areas in which project requirements exceed demonstrated competence.

Monitor

Verify that the person is functioning effectively after there has been an opportunity to progress the project.

The steps in this process are described in more detail in the “Delegating Responsibility” paper in the Papers section.